I woke up this morning to radio broadcast of a snippet of a press conference held by Senator Craig, the guy who found himself in a Denver(?) Airport scandal so saucy that it took several days of ambiguous reporting for me to figure out what had happened. Of course the media can't say that he was arrested for trying to pick up guys in the bathroom. No, they have to be family-friendly and oblique about it. I thought he'd been arrested for jacking off, Pee Wee Herman style.
Anyway, back to the press conference: There's nothing like waking up in the morning to repeated cries of an conservative family-values politician saying "I'm not gay!" to make what is an otherwise dreary morning interesting.
Apparently this isn't the first time he's had this problem either.
To which my first thought is:
(Note: the previous video got pulled from YouTube - Sucks to be me - so this one will have to do)
Though honestly, I kinda understand where he's coming from. I grew up in that neck of the woods (rural Pacific Northwest), and it's quite homophobic in the hinterlands up there. And this is even with the liberalizing (or civilizing, depending on who you ask) element of radical Wilammette Valley, Oregon, nearby my town. Out in the even crazier hinterlands where Craig is from, it can get really backwards. And I don't mean to offend Idahoans by claiming their state is backwards, but sometime remind me to tell you the story of my friend who got chased out of the state by the local Aryan Nation.
It wasn't until I moved to the big city to go to school until I met people who were not only gay, not only admitted it, but practiced it in the open. It was surprisingly schocking to my innocently provincial mind to see two men romantically cuddling each other during a rock concert for the first time.
And since then, I've moved to San Francisco, where practically anything goes. The minute it gets sunny in Dolores Park, the whole south-west side of the park is covered by men in various conditions of scantily-cladness. And in a reminder of my provincial smalltown roots, it was thoroughly intimidating the first time I walked through the Castro District when I got kinda lost exploring my neighborhood.
I guess the one thing that makes Craig's press conference silly and childish is the realization since I've moved to the city that steamy man-on-man sex doesn't necessarily make one gay. Just like the stories that circulate about women who sometimes feel the need to experiment (a large part of them probably apocryphal), it seems likely that the same is true of men. To repurpose a line from Kevin Smith, sometimes straight men "just need a deep dicking.*"
*At least, I think that's what Kevin Smith wrote - my memory is bit hazy.
So, Senator Craig, if you were gay, it'd be ok.
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